The build-up and the breakdown

I had never dated, so at the age of 42, my family panicked for me when I began to explore the possibilities. I had just a few daytime coffee dates that I weeded through pretty quickly, I was determined to change the pattern of angry men in my life. I met Steve through a singles add he posted; "wanted to re-discover romance"--aah! He was safe enough, comfortable, friendly, social, and witty. We hit it off--and our first date extended to an exciting evening. It was refreshing to have someone that wanted to be in my life, that wanted me! Even though I developed real feelings for Steve, I realized that he was a band aid for my many hurts, so I guarded our relationship and myself with reserve for many years before allowing the barriers to come down. He occasionally pushed my "triggers" that would manifest in learned reactions from my past, pushing him--us--apart for a time being.
A highlight came when we were able to buy a home together! To have a place to belong again, --feeling settled, --my sanctuary in the woods! Steve and I made a home--a life! It was a rollercoster ride of emotions that I battled inwardly--increasing stress. With those accumulated over a lifetime, the fact that I worked in a high stress job --night shift, with very little--broken sleep during light hours, was festering inside me. I depended more on coffee and simple carbs. (keep these in mind, you will learn later that they were the "acids" that aided in creating disease).
Just when I thought I had a handle on my emotions, my eldest son became his father's advocate, fighting me to "let his father off the hook" from obligations. It brought up all the past hurts and angers again. That was over 3 years ago, I found my first lump soon after. I invested/lost- in my youngest son's business venture that barely got off the ground, coupled with my cost for natural cancer treatments; broke the bank of Laura, and the dynamics of my co-dependant parents and a brother continue to gnaw at the edges of my nerves! I was exhausted from being the peacemaker and everyone's helper, but it wasn't helping me!

It was just a swollen lymph under my right arm, simple enough---wrong! The ultrasound showed 3-4 large lymph's that warranted a biopsy-- of which I waited on for another year, while I continued natural treatment. When the biopsy was done, I was given the blow that it was adenocarcinoma with metastasis to the lymph's, from many possible original sources!!! The callused and narrow minded surgeon told me if I continued to do nothing, I would die--and die soon. It was gratifying to see his face when the multiple scans and mammograms all came back negative--they could not find the original source! So for the next 2 years I continued with a natural course of treatment coordinated through an out of state Naturalpathic doctor friend, (http://www.askdrgarland.com/ ) and with a local O.D. that treats homeopathicly; http://www.osteomed2.com/. They monitor the breast by doing painless/harmless Thermograms instead of Mammograms. The thermograms were negative at first, but a few months after the lymph biopsy, they began to show "heat" in the right breast. An MRI confirmed 2 large masses with massive lymph involvement right axillary. I opted to fine tune my diet to a Vegan, with less and less processed foods and leaning more towards raw and vegetable juicing. The natural supplementation was increased too. My thoughts on my "condition", was that my fortified body helped to repair the original source of the cancer, until they cut open a lymph allowing cancer cells, (and staff infection) to leak into the breast tissue. what was left in the lymph's would be filtered out with detoxifying flushes. All was well, and I was feeling good----until this past March.
I started a dream job in Nov. 2008, night supervisor of a small hospital. I was back to doing 12 night shifts, sometimes 3 in a row. I loved the job and my staff, but I was not getting my rest during the day, and noticing my right breast getting large and hard. The beginning of March my right arm began swelling and each day I found new lumps on my right clavicle and upper chest. The right side of my neck swelled to the size of a tennis ball, I had lumps on the back of my neck that seemed to pinch nerves. I couldn't sleep at all now, and had to turn my whole body to turn sideways. The lumps burned like acid, but the real scare was the concern for my airway which felt threatened daily. I knew that something more had to be done---what I dreaded the most--- I saw a regular MD that next morning. She ordered stat scans along with an oncology consult. My first chemotherapy began that week, and I had to leave my dream job. Some good came in March,--- Steve and I were married in Jamaica! ---And he is caring enough to give me the time I needed to repair at home.
This shift to conventional treatment did not change my allegiance to natural health, if anything it fortified it! I began learning about the benefits of fresh wheat grass juicing; please view website: (http://www.phsolutions4u.com/ ). How am I doing?---GREAT! The lumps have shrunk considerably after 6 treatments, but just as important--- all scans are again negative, my lab work is fantastic, not what is usually expected, and I have had no side effects from chemo--and still have my hair! Coincidence? or Nutrition?
Enough, stop the insanity! Now for the real life's lessens and changes to begin!