The sky is falling!

After 24 years of marriage, my husband, whom I became even closer to during the last few years, told me he didn't love me anymore---and doubted if he ever had loved me, right before starting my 12 night shift as a cardiac care nurse. Oh, he tried to re-assure that it wasn't me that caused his feelings, he was tired of going thru the motions of life- without emotions, he said that "one day I would thank him"!!! I went to war with my mind and heart. It repeated the childhood feelings of not being good enough or wanted, what was wrong with me??? Well, within a month, I lost 30# from not eating or sleeping, lost my job 3 mos. later from frequently missing work. My husband took me to a lawyer and forced a settlement agreement because he was leaving for Texas with another women. I felt that I was living a corny country song! My sons were in college, I was alone! My home that had felt like a sanctuary , began collapsing it's walls of memories on me. These memories were suffocating me everywhere I went in a town that I grew up in-- and lived in with my husband,-- I had to get out. I sold my home without any profit, to help with the unsurmounting bills Don left me with. They repossessed my car and his boat. It was like Don was on the moon, because the courts came after me, not him for retribution. I got an agency critical care nursing position that took me out of my vicinity of comfort--traveling to 20 hospitals in cities that I didn't know how to find--especially in the night in a car that my mom had to help me get. I found an apartment in between the cities I worked and where home had been, but I felt like a transient, unsettled. I missed home--I missed my life!!!
What good became of the sky falling? I began to re-discover who I was, what I liked--and did not. I took time for me, did nice things for me, realized that I was a good person. I listen to motivational- inspirational tapes on the way to and from work and read the same during free time. Marrianne Williamson, from the "Course of Miriacles", became one of my mentors. I became closer to God, knowing that the only way to get through this was to give it up to Him, to trust in Him to take care of things. My sons were my rocks, all my family rallied with support. Good does come from bad, and strength from adversity. What else was starting to build was --disease--that comes from dis-ease!